To whom it may concern,
While I realize you probably have more important tasks to attend to, would it be possible to trouble you for a piece of bread or a cup of water? I’m quite pleased you’ve offered me this position in your dungeon, but without nutrients, I fear I might not be able to perform the tasks I have been hired for to the high standards set by your corporation. As my resumé states, I’m merely an intern and while adding ambience and that much-needed waifish, half-dead prisoner feel to your underground torture arena has been a goal of mine for years, I’ve been forced to eat my hands in the hopes that the rats might think me too crazy to feed upon.
I hope to hear from you soon. Thank you for your time!
NexDoctoral CandidateUniversity of Southern California School of Anachronistic Ambience
(PS: Also, could I procure some Neosporin? Apparently autocannibalism has a high risk for infection. Thanks!)
According toJapanese sales charts,Halo 3has fallen off like a dead hooker on the side of a mountain. Is that stark reality mirrored by our stalwart heroes? Read on to find out!
BlindsideDork:Just opened myBox de Orangeand I am lovingHalf-Life 2. Can’t wait to dive into someTF2this weekend.Halowho?
Topher Cantler:I’m having one of those fun weeks where there’s nothing new out and I’m not committed to one game, so I’ve been slutting it up with whatever catches my eye. Namely,Chu Chu Rocket, Tetris DS, Robotron, Blazing Lasers(Lazing Blasers) and the now dailyIkarugasession. AlsoDolphin Island, which Chad will be happy to know is not all that bad.Jim Sterling:My Internet has been out for the past week, meaning my online gaming has been snatched away from me cruelly. It forced me … ack … to try and playEnchanted Armsagain. Lord, I wish I was dead.
Actually, it’s not terribly bad, it’s just very mediocre. It’s the best I have for now anyway.Faith:Let’s see … I’ve been playingPuzzle Quest, Cloning Clyde, Carcassonne, Blue DragonandThe SimpsonsDemo all on the Xbox 360. I’ve also been playingBrain Agefor the DS andFinal Fantasy Tacticsfor the PSP.Savant:While everyone and their mom is playingHalo 3andThe Orange Box, I am diving head-first into the wonderful world ofPuzzle Queston Xbox Live Arcade. I loved the game for the DS, but it was always so rough on my eyes to squint constantly, thinking “Is that a yellow gem or a green one?”
Now that I’ve got it on a much larger screen, all is right with the world. Now all I need is forGuitar Hero IIIto come the hell out so I can failThrough the Fire and Flamesfor hours on end…
Nick Chester:Played quite a bit ofUnreal Tournament 3on the PC; first 20 minutes ofPhantom Hourglass; picked upThe Orange Box(360) and have only touchedPortalso far; and I playJam Sessionswhile on the toilet.
Dale North:Aaargh! I’ve got Japanese SRPGs on my 6!Final Fantasy Tactics(PSP) pops out when I’m not even done withJeanne D’Arcyet? Actually, there’s a pretty good reason why I’m not done withJeanne D’Arc— I’m dying in some battles several times over. In one battle, I died nine times over the course of 3 days! I actually had to get out and grind to finally take that one over.In the mean time, I’m destroying locals inSuper Puzzle Fighter Turbo II HDto bring my confidence level back up.
Nex:I’ve got a list!Halo 3(probably for the last time thanks to …),The Orange Box,Unreal Tournament 3,skate, Everyday Shooter, Forza 2, Puzzle Fighter, Street Fighter III: Third Strike, Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, Wordjong, and bizarrelyBlue Dragon. I still don’t think it’s phenomenal, and it’s hopelessly derivative of theFinal Fantasyseries, but it lacks the pretension and baggageFinal Fantasynow drags with it wherever it goes, so I can spend a few hours in the early mornings relaxing by running around inside its gorgeous, ultra-Japanese world.
Also, that JRock battle music is frickin’ sweet! There’s nothing like shredding guitars to get you in the mood to murder fecophiliac hermit crabs.
Chad Concelmo:I loveThe Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass. That is all.
Tristero:Man, I thought everyone exaggerated just slightly about how wonderfulBioShockwas. That is, until I started playing it myself. It was worth all the hundreds of dollars I spent on that 360 just to experience this game. What the hell have I been doing with myself over the last month that was more important than this? Has anyone ever noticed how playing an amazing game makes you have a good day no matter what else happens?
Ron Workman:I wantOrange Boxdamnit!Halo, Halo, Halofor breakfast,Halofor Lunch, and I finally caught up on seriously around 8 or more XBLA games that I haven’t been able to play. As stupid as this sounds, I likeTrack and Field.Rainbow 6 Vegas, Bioshock… O.K. I admit, when I saw this game a year ago, I was not impressed. They made it clap. It is visually amazing. Tron Knots has naked pictures of me and needs treefiddy to release them. I also got to playDead Risingfor the first time ever. It looks great in HD. Ohh… and did I mentionHalo?
Gameboi:Haven’t picked up theOrangutan Boxyet, so it’s still theHalothing for me. Just maybe, there’s a shiny new PS3 in my immediate future. I need some sort of backup when “old reliable” shits on me. We all know it’s just a matter of time. Hell, I’ve been through 3 of them already.
Grim:This week has been nothing butPortal, Team Fortress 2, andHalo 3. Okay fine, I did tryYaris, but after unlocking one achievement, I couldn’t take the piece of garbage anymore and was forced to quit playing. A dude on NeoGAF said it best: “Yarismay be the most deleted game ever.”
Hamsa “CTZ” Aziz:I PLAYEDSUPER SMASH BROS. BRAWLAND ************* AND ************* AND ***********!
Dyson:Aside from playing someSuper Smash Bros Brawlat the Nintendo event the other day, I’ve been completely absorbed byPhantom Hourglass. I wish I could say that I’ve spent more time with some other games, butPHhas still kept me hooked all week and I’m more than okay with that.Dick McVengeance:I’ve been playing a ton ofSoul Nomad and the World Eaters. As it goes on, the battles become more grindy, which is disappointing, but at least things move along fairly quickly. I’m still loving the game overall, though. Now that I’ve got a PSP Lite, I’m also playing someLoco RocoandStar Wars Battlefront: Renegade Squadron.
Colette Bennett:Still immersed inPhantom Hourglass, but alsoPUZZLE QUEST.This game must be made up of liquid crack and the ground bones of newborns, because it can literally suck me in for hours. Now that I have cashflow again, I’m going to track downPersona 3tomorrow. Better late than never!
What about you kids? Still making out with Master Chief behind the wood shed or have you developed a thing for crowbars and realistic physics? Go! Comments! Now!MACH SCHNELL!
