On my nightly Googletrek for the string “dinosaurs, machine guns”, I came acrossthis Firing Squad articlewhich included the above trailer for the upcoming presumably direct-to-DVD, animatedTurokfilm.
Normally we’d be excited to see a film based on a game that seems to follow its source material so closely, but that clip just leaves us scratching our collective metal heads. Since when wasTuroksuccessful enough to warrant an American animated film? Sure, an anime maybe — the Japanese animate everything, from grocery lists, to every issue ofSports Illustratedto reruns ofThe Golden Girls— but to get the green light for a real American animated film, you’d need a series that was either tremendously successful or lends itself extremely well to the realm of the cartoon. Admittedly, “dinosaurs + guns = awesome” is a fantastic premise, but it’s been done before, asmy childhoodproves.
As a person of Cherokee descent I truly hope this film is taken seriously by its creators if only to bring honor to my people, but as a person who just lied to you about being a person of Cherokee descent, I couldn’t care less how this thing turns out.
Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a while since I’ve watchedHeavy Metal, and my spirit animal recently informed me thatTurokwon’t have nearly as much nudity as that classic of the American cinema.
